This Must Be My Homo Ghetto Shiznit Name

We see your skinny geek ass. Yeah, it's pathetic. But not to worry, we also see what you really want to be inside; you want to be the shiznit. The goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit, yo.

But let us tell you this: you'll never get anywhere without a suitably awe-inspiring name - and that's where we come in. See, through our years of research, we've developed a way to take your (currently humdrum, boring, middle class nerd) name and turn it into something special. We'll make you be somebody, yo.

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Shizzlemah.
What's yours?
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