Monday, November 05, 2007

Funkin' not Groovin'



I have been in such a rut as of late. I just really don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I should be happy, my race is coming up soon, I have raised over $2,800 dollars for the cause. I have a job interview coming up with a pharmaceuticall distributor. Things from the outside seem to be going very well for me. Why the hell do I feel so bummed out?!? Is it the lack of a partner in my life? Could be. Is it a lack of friendship in my life. Could be. I just don't know. I just feel as if I have been abandoned by a majority of my friends. Could it be that all my friends are in stable long term relationships. I think that I need to find friends who are single who are able to go out on a whim. I rarely receive phone calls from the friends that I have. I know this sounds whiney but this is how I feel. I seriously need to go see a therapist for this shit. I swear this all started in August and have not been able to get out of the funk since.

Suggestions anyone?

20 comments:

Diane said...

I know the feeling - I just got invited to a cool art show Thursday night, and I will probably have to go by myself if I go . . .

Maybe you are training too hard, and thus, free play time takes on too great an importance? I feel alot better than I did last weekend. For me sometimes I need something to look forward to - generally a vacation.

Hope you feel happier soon . . . :-)

M-M-M-Mishy said...

I get bummed out in the winter. Lack of sunshine I suppose. I was in a funk before I moved, but I think a change of pace was just what I needed.

And if all else fails, go to the store, buy a tin of frosting and go to town. Trust.

LA said...

Can the blues "go around" like the flu? Diane posted about feeling blue over the weekend and I've been feeling the same way, too.

When my dad died, my mourning period waxed and waned at various times over the first year or so. Thinking back, your grandmother didn't die that long ago, and considering how involved you were in her life and care, I think you're getting hit with a wave of grief. It's pretty normal considering the holidays are approaching. I DREADED Christmas the year my dad died.

I know it sounds like a cliche, but those five stages of grief are really pretty accurate. I remember when "anger" hit. I was angry at everyone, all the time. It was crazy.

I also agree with Mishy's frosting therapy, although for me, the drug of choice is raw cookie dough.

Anonymous said...

I'll go places with you!!! Come play Wii tonight! Or guitar hero! Call me! :D *Jess*

EditThis said...

Ryan -

LA makes a good point about your grandmother. Maybe you're still in mourning?

I know how you feel, though. I've been in the same rut. It feels like all I do is work and sleep. I feel your single person's pain. I've been going through the same thing. I have become closer friends recently with some people who are also single and more available to hang out on a whim and it actually has helped. Hope you feel better soon.

sweet said...

i know i haven't been helping. i'm slowly sort of coming out of my own funk...
you coming out thursday? my mom will be there. so will my new couch.

Sarah :P said...

Jigga tell me about it, ha but you already did. Remember you can call the Sarah whenever, unless she is sleeping or watching her favorite TV shows, which are also usually your favorties too. Ya I am guessing it may have to do with your grandmother and maybe even some sort of runner's fatigue? Not sure though, since running is supposed to raise endorphines and give you a runner's "high" of some sort. Therapy can be theraputic, if you find the right doctor, or maybe a vacation is in order? The holidays can also be tough, especially if you are missing someone who is very important to you :( sorry, wish i could help more

Ryan said...

Thanks everybody! I really think it is a combo of death, holidays, a good friend faking cancer for 4 years and being exposed, and stress.

kookla@work said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kookla@work said...

Ryan, it's the holidays, your grandmother just passed away, you're training like a mo'fo, and probably wasting away from all the stress and grief. 

Don't be so hard on yourself when you have the blues. Be like me. Embrace it. Luxuriate in it. I watch marathon tear-jerking movies, eat greasy burgers and let my hair become even greasier. I putter around my house in my bathrobe and don't answer the door for friends or mailmen. I don't go near the computer or answer the phone. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. And I do. Because I can. And I will. Even when Pelegrim tells me to snap out of it (which he knows better than that), I yell back at him to go get me another burger.

I think the daylight savings time switcheroo has made the planetary alignments all whacky. And that fake cancer freak is like ... whoa! WTF? Talk about an attention whore.

GetFlix said...

It's a bitch to be twenty-something.

Try to get yourself a house, condo or property by 30. You're at a really good age to invest in real estate.

prettykitty said...

ryan, congratulations on raising so much for a worthy cause and good luck on the interview. but more importantly, don't think that those things are supposed to solve whatever is troubling you.

hang in there. things really do get better!

Diane said...

Dude - I'm signed up for a 5k in a couple of weeks, and won't even be able to run it - that you can run 20 freakin' miles is AMAZING to me!

I'm thinking of buying myself an awesome pair of shoes - maybe great black heels or a cool pair of red boots. I'd advise different shoe choices for you, however . . .not there's anything wrong with that!

LA said...

"a good friend faking cancer for 4 years and being exposed." WTF?

That's SICK!

LA said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Ryan. I hope the funk is lifting. :)

v said...

Yeah, I hope the funk is lifted or, at least, lifting. I guess you must be gearing up for that marathon. Way to go in preparing for it as well as in raising that coin.

Hope you had a wonderful Turkey Day!

Yoga Gal said...

Sweetheart, being in a funk is just another part of reality. Don't worry about it, go through it. No feeling , good, bad or ugly last forever! You're normal! It's okay to feel sad once in a while!

Prunella Jones said...

There seems to be an awful ennui going around lately. So many people I know are feeling it, including me. What can you do but wait it out? It WILL go away at some point. Since this is an old post,I hope you are feeling better now.

EditThis said...

Ryan, is your Marathon this weekend? Good luck!

(My verification word is lvcpnwhw. They're getting longer and longer).

Diane said...

Good luck with the Marathon!!!!