Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Walk Like A Man... But Don't Sing With Him

So while I was waiting patiently for "Jersey Boys" to begin, I was flipping through the pamphlet and determined what songs I was going to know. Well let me tell you, I knew quite a few. After I decided I knew the music, I thought to myself, "OMG if one of these old bitches starts singing along with the actors on stage I am going to freakin' lose it!" So the lights go down, the musical starts... and low and behold, the oldie but goodie behind me decides to sing along with the actors on such hits as "Sheri," "Big Girls Don't Cry," and "Walk Like a Man." I keep turning my head around with a major stare, but alas it didn't faze the bitch. I was getting more and more pissed as Act One continued. Okay, it is now intermission, and the old woman goes to get her obligatory glass of wine so that she can have a little more liquid courage to sing along in Act Two. WRONG. So right before the house lights went down I turned around to my karaoke friend and said, "Excuse me, but your singing is A LITTLE MUCH. I paid 80 clams for this ticket and I would like to hear the actor portraying Frankie Valli singing instead of you. Thank You!" Well let me tell you I got the laser death eyes from my new BFF! But guess what, I didn't hear a peep from the bitch the entire second act. Now I wouldn’t normally tell somebody to shut the fuck up but I was so fucking annoyed I couldn’t even enjoy myself. I believe that you are only entitled to sing along at arena concerts where everyone is drunk and high. But then I thought, "well fuck this is Sacramento... figures."



Here is what you missed minus Jay Leno.

6 comments:

GetFlix said...

Har!! I would've cracked sooner.

Diane said...

when did Leno stop having a neck?

kookla@work said...

Ryan, this story amuses me to no end. It never fails that whether I go to a movie, play, dinner, whatever...I am seated to the most obnoxious person within a 30 mile radius. Unlike you, that squawking karaoke show behind me wouldn't have got pat one falsetto note of Frankie Valli's before I kicked her in the throat with my high heel.

BTW: Let me tell you, as a child I had the biggest crush on Frankie. It was around the time the 4 Seasons were having a comeback and came out with "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You." My sister called him "that old guy that sings like a girl" and just teased me mercilessly. I love that they have a whole show dedicated to his music and now I tell her how ahead of my time I was.

LA said...

OMG, good for you, Ryan!

Like Kook, my sister attracts the nutjobs. Unfortunately, I'm often suffer the collateral damage by association.

prettykitty said...

okay, i can understand maybe singing along toward the end of the show when you are really getting into the music, but the first act? are they going to have to start having someone come out and make a preshow announcement about cell phones and singing?

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Man, I hate when I have to take my frequent angry stares to the next level. Good for you for saying something. If it had continued after that, you would have been totally in the right to start a brawl. Which would have been amazing.